Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
