Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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