Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
