Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
