I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
