somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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