But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
