It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
