Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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