I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
