community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
