too bad you live with your parents still
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
