Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
