are you still at the devil's house?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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