i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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