So drunk its hurt
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
