He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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