Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize