This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
