Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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