I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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