I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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