well you can't waste a boner
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
