Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize