Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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