put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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