The maid of honor just puked.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
