We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
