I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
