it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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