Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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