Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Come share oat with me in your robe
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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