Please, let me fuck your mom
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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