that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
