Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize