I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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