omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
