i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
