i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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