we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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