kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
