She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize