do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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