You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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