u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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