Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
