have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize