it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
