My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
