You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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