If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
