lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
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