Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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