Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
