I'm going to jail i love you
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
