Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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